The interestingfulness is terrific

October 20, 2008

“May you live in interesting times” is an old Chinese curse. Has there ever been a more interesting – or, to be more accurate, bizarre – period than the first decade of the 21st century? We’ve had the 9-11 terrorist attacks, the war in Iraq over non-existent WMD, the execution of Saddam Hussein (the fall guy in every sense), war crimes suspect Radovan Karadzic turning up as a Rasputinesque holistic therapist with a bushy beard, warble gloaming, evidence of water on mars, and – perhaps most unthinkable of all – a black man well on the way to becoming president of the United States. And now – just in case we didn’t have enough on our plate – we are suddenly having to deal with a global financial meltdown. Things are becoming more “interesting” by the day, it seems. And this past week has been exceptionally interesting and eventful. In Britain, Prime Minister Gordon Brown finally found his calling. God came down to him while he was sitting on his potty wondering why the British public didn’t like him (“They just don’t appreciate the Brown stuff”) and said: “Gordon, I have chosen you to lead the global crusade to correct the credit crunch and avert a madmaxian apocalypse.” “But how, Lord?” “Take money from the public and use it to enrich the bankers.” “But, Lord – that’s what we’ve always done.” “Yes, but now you can do it and say that you’re saving the world from Armageddon.” “Thank you God. You know, if I manage it carefully, I should be able to do quite a bit with a hundred zillion quid….” Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Sarah Palin revealed further details of her plan for dealing with the Russians: “Look, it’s only a short sled ride from where I live to Russia. Heck, with a really good high-powered rifle with a telescopic sight I could probably shoot Vladimir Putin from my bedroom window.” She also outlined her solution to the global financial crisis: “What we need to do is go back to using fur pelts as the basic trading commodity. That way, we won’t have to rely on foreign oil.” It’s been a bad week for Seve Ballesteros, who this week was told by surgeons that he has a tumor the size of a… well, a golf ball. And an even worse week for far-right politician Joerg Haider, who was killed in a car crash that was, to all appearances, a complete accident. Even before the crash occurred, Mossad was vehemently denying any involvement. Ironically, Haider was driving the latest model of Hitler’s “People’s Car” when he veered too far to the right and left the road (and the planet). The only good news of the past week also came from Germany, where a farmer underwent a successful double arm and hand transplant. He told reporters how happy he was to be able to play the trombone again. Or something along those lines.


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